For cryin' out loud!

Oh my God! So, here I am, sitting on my futon playing the role of Grand Earth Mother Supreme, crocheting a scarf pour moi since I just got a new, short, sassy haircut, while watching "Oprah"!

Today's topic is something like "Mommy Millionaires" or something like that, when I happened to make a comment like, Oh, how clever! to an invention that tells you when you last opened something. Really, it's a very cool invention, and when I commented on it, the sweetheart, John, said, "Ummm, and that's why they put expiration dates on the containers!"

That's when I retorted, snottily,"Yeah, that explains why that EXPIRATION DATE on that damned sour cream in there said NOVEMBER 8th, 2006, then, you actually READ those things, now, do you?" Good thing you have ME around here to keep that refrigerator clean, and it was ME who had to throw that out, and you call yourself a VIRGO?

-- and that's when I got BLASTED!

John: "You're kidding me, right? You never threw that away, did you?

Me: "Yes, as a matter of fact I did, for crissakes, what in the world would you need to keep it for?" I shouted back.

Then, Andrea came rushing in to John's defense, and she went off on me, too!

Andrea: "Oh, noooooooooo (said with all of the heartbreak and regret as if I had just cut up her favorite teddy bear) -- MOMMY, you didn't!!! Did you?"

Me: "Yes, as a matter of fact I did, what kinda pigs are you people?"

-- and then I got it AGAIN!

What gives with these two, I think to myself, and then they yell out their frustration in UNISON, as if they'd NEVER -- EVER get over it!

Both: She threw out OUR CHIP DIP!! SHE DID!! SHE DID!!! Why would she do that?" they chimed in their complete bewilderment and confusion!

... then, to me, in those hurt, accusatory voices: Why DID YOU do that???

For cryin' out freakin' loud... with all of the NICE Tupperware that I have (the real thing, mind you!), and for all of the fancy Lock-N-Locks that I bought at Wal-Mart -- they (in all of their infinite wisdom and stately perfectionism) had washed out an old sour cream container and had stored their freshly made chip dip in there.

Virgos (the both of 'em)! He and she who are the "perfectionists of the zodiac" foiled by the Goddess of Chaos, the queen of supreme disorder of all... a gentle little dreamy Pisces... c'est moi! had, utterly and irrevocably, rocked their world.

Perfectionists, hehe, let me at them. Bring 'em on!!!